It’s been a month tomorrow since my mother passed away. I’ve coped really well considering that it’s such a traumatic experience to lose your mother, and I think a big part of my coping has been because I’ve been so very busy with my blogging and work. Busy is actually an understatement, last night I just about collapsed with exhaustion from the last week. Maybe it’s just my way of distracting myself from the pain that stabs me at all sorts of weird times.
This morning I was in that half sleep state, the one where you are conscious of what’s going on but in that beautiful dreamy place of relaxation and bliss where you want it to last forever. It was around 5.00 a.m. I think, and I felt someone sit on my bed. I live alone, and I did not feel scared in the slightest, I had an overwhelming feeling that it was my mother, in fact I felt safe and even though I didn’t see mum sitting there, I felt her looking down at me whilst she was sitting on the bed.
When I got up I decided to go for a walk and I had forgotten that the Sydney City to Surf was racing this morning and, if I had remembered, I wouldn’t have gone that way as I avoid crowds like the plague. As I was walking home watching the runners I could hear Elvis Presley singing. It was an Elvis impersonator singing to the runners and it made me laugh so much because at mum’s funeral the undertakers accidently played an Elvis Presley song when we carried mum’s coffin in, and my brother and I had a giggle when we realized it was the wrong song and not the one we chose. It was later that we wondered if mum had something to do with it because she didn’t like the song we chose and she used to love Elvis?
Who knows? Maybe a big coincidence re the Elvis stuff but without a doubt, I knew my mother sat on my bed beside me today and looked down at me smiling. It’s brought me a lot of comfort.
Mum and Me: 1996