One day everything is just fine and then bang....your world gets thrown into chaos.
I've been in quite a bit of pain on my left side for a few months now, so I ended up at the doctor. That resulted with abnormal pathology which then lead me to the radiologist for a CT Scan.
Then I got the call.
My GP rang to tell me that there was a abnormality and I needed to see a surgeon and have more tests.
Pause. "Oh shit there must be some mistake" I thought myself.
I think I've been in shock ever since that phone call and more so now that I've seen the CT report. I'm not going to say what's going on right now because this blog is about hope, and I have hope. Lots of hope. I'm hoping it is related to my Crohn's Disease and not something far more wicked. Not that Crohn's is an easy road I can tell you and so far I've been let off quite lightly compared to others.
So the testing has began. The specialised pathology and tomorrow a MRI. Not looking forward that.
I've had one night of absolute hysterics where I blurted it all out on Facebook then quickly deleted that post but a few of my friends saw it before I deleted it and came running to see if they can help. Thank you. Note to self: don't get emotional on Facebook.
Most of the time I'm ok but I can't stop thinking about what's happening. The people that know are telling me to be positive, and that's not easy when you have something like this happening.
One of my daughter's gave her mother some of 'her mother's' own advice. "Maybe mum, the Universe is telling you to slow down and get back on your path".
So I'm on this crossroad right now. It's making me put the brakes on and think about what's really important. Of course family, friends and health are the most important things to me.
Maybe what is going on really is a way for me to make some massive changes. I can say, the last couple of weeks have made me realise that so much of the stuff I worry about isn't important. It just isn't. I've also realised it's ok to say "no".
I guess I'll know for certain by the end of this week, and I guess I'll deal with it then. No matter where this ends up it's certainly life changing for me.
In the meantime, there is always hope.
UPDATE OCTOBER 3
Wow I'm such a chicken, I really did not like the MRI and hope I never have one again. Maybe I'm claustrophobic? The doctors now think this is all Crohn's related however I'm still waiting on more pathology and more testing happens next Monday in hospital.
I'm feeling so much more optimistic and I am watching my diet and taking sticking to my Anti Inflammatory Diet.
UPDATE OCTOBER 25
And the good news is - "A Cancer Scare That Gave Me a Wake Up Call". Read Here