Coping With Grief One Year On

On Sunday it was one year since my mother passed away. Not a day goes by where I don't think about her and quite often I say to myself 'I'll call mum now' and then it hits me; no I can't call her. I do talk to her though, all the time, just as if she's in the room with me.

People have asked me how have I coped with the grief. It's really quite simple, I just think of mum's suffering before she passed away, for four years she went from being totally abled to disabled. After each stroke she got worse. She had four of them.

As much as I wish she didn't die, I would not wish for her to be back here in that body that could not walk or even get out of her chair anymore. She was totally dependent on my dad for everything she did.

I've had some 'signs' that she's around. Things that have moved in the house that I cannot explain. Even electrical appliances turning on right in front of my eyes! I'm quite sure it's mum pranking me and it makes me laugh.

When my brother passed away I coped by painting, listening to beautiful music and writing a very long journal. When I read back through that journal (which I haven't for some years now) I realise how sad and grief stricken I was. I also think writing that journal was a big part of my healing process.

Grief is very personal. Everyone copes in different ways and there is no right or wrong way. Grief is a journey that we all go through some time in our lives and my advice from someone who has been there many times is just go with it.